How gentle is the rain
That falls softly on the meadow
Birds high above in the trees
Serenade the flowers with their melodies oh oh oh
See there beyond the hill
The bright colors of the rainbow
Some magic from above
Made this day for us
Just to fall in love

You’ll hold me in your arms
And say once again, you love me
And if your love is true
Everything will be just as wonderful

Now I belong to you
From this day until forever
Just love me tenderly
And I’ll give to you every part of me oh oh oh
Don’t ever make me cry
Through long lonely nights without love
Be always true to me
Kept it stay in your heart eternally
Someday we shall return to this place upon
The meadow
We‘ll walk out in the rain
Hear the bird’s above sing once again oh

ok, i know i am fat.

Can’t find the 2004 video. Seriously, I’m super hyped up when I watch the marching bands’ videos. Sorry to junwei who have to endure my hyperness when its already 4.30am. One plus hour yakking non-stop on the phone. Love you!

If time can goes back to those days, plain and simple, making music and marching, endless hours of gimmicks practising in hall, field, canteen, basketball court. I miss the usual corner the saxophonists took up for sectionals. I miss band and marching. no more acute turn, backward march, slow march, spin turn, running, checking of dressing, loudhailers, opening formation, starting position, F1, F2, F3, no more impressive stares from schoolmates sitting by randomly, no more ava theatrette looking at past year videos, no more morning runs, no more hours of warming up practice, no more tasty nasi ayam for saturday whole day practice, no more thirsty till i don’t even mind drinking tap water, no more long water cooler queue, no more shouting from 1-10 for the water cooler person to go, no more ‘walk somemore!’, no more stories from bands, no more polishing of instruments, no more 90degrees hentak. Sigh. I miss it, I miss those days when I’m tanned and dark and healthy. I miss everyone in band. I miss talking about band. I miss them.

Once there’s a farmer, he had this son who has really a bad temper, and whenever the son has got his temper raging, he would be all violent. so the farmer gave him a hammer and a bag of nails and told the son if he’s feeling angry, hit the nails with the hammer on the fence. The son did it and the first day he hit 8 nails, second 7, third 6 and slowly, day by day, he stop hitting the nails.  Then the farmer said to his son again that when there’s one day he do not feel angry at all, pulled out 1 nail that he has hammered to the fence. Slowly, the son pulled out all the nails from the fence. And the farmer told the son, “Look at the damage you had done when you’re in the midst of anger, even if you’ve realised the wrong, trying to compensate by pulling out the nails, the wounds are still there, and they will never heal”

Words are like nails, and uncontrollable anger are the harsh hammer. Even when softness comes in and retrieve the words, the wounds are still there. Deep down, and when can you know the hammer would not strike again?

I-AM-FEELING-TERRIBLE.

Lies are despicable, and so are liars.

I think maybe I ought to live off by myself and die alone honourably, like a parasite.

Locked out of the house by your mom, see if who will like it. I’m definitely in fault, I admit it, but who has the absolute coverage that they are not either?

Anyway, all those, are events, miserable, unfortunate events that come together. Like Lego. Stacking high up. and with one knock, it crumbled, fragile and easily defeated. That’s me. SO WEAK, OH SO WEAK.

Fuck, I freaking hate myself.

I totally can’t wait for season 2. My greatest English drama fetish after desperate housewives and grey’s anatomy.

Recently have been engaging in too many things that are not related to studies at all. perhaps except for lil timehere and there reading the news and researching for IEF.otherwise its totally slack. I didn’t feel like going to school or anything that involves schoolwork. BUT HEY! I suddenly got the urge to organise my stuffs and get settled down if I wanna have good grades. Its been too long when my grades have been satisfactory. I’ve got motivation, the need to self-actualized. I am not going to be the morning glory that clings on to other fences, not the parasite that feeds on other.

and I wanna learn more guitar songs~ and buy a sax and learn the keyboard and everything. There’s so much things I can do, my projects research, my tutorials, my studyings, my enriching instrumental journey (like totally ha-ha). No time to waste, to nua or anything. Get going~!

But meanwhile, I guess it won’t hurt to watch a few more eps of Heroes. and hang out with friends~!

I’m really going to tidy up my messy life.

or am i expecting too much? am i trying to hard?

Sigh. I don’t know. I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know.

I hate it when I don’t know anything. It feels as bad as don’t know how to answer any single questions asked in IEF. Doubly miserable.

I hate it when I lose control. When that expected is unexpected, when everything just go beyond their limits and exceed our vision.

All I know is that, apart from being understanding and thoughtful. I think, i’m still that girl who yearns for attention. and all I need is a few more thoughtful words. a few more words to make me smile, and not just me, having my soliloquy over. It’s terrible, terrible to feel as if nobody cares, although i know, i truly know that you do.

perhaps, you need to be more blatant in everything you feel and me, need to be more direct in everything i say.

but meanwhile. let me pick up those piece you’ve crashed and try to mend them together again.

and to quote from my song. i love you baby.

if only you were here with me 

hate suddenly turn out to be all critical and sad.

hate people who comment and pin out the flaws but never suggest and give ideas.

hate school.

hate accounting.

hate stomachache

hate people who complain but never do anything to prove their worth.

hate whining.

hate miscommunication.

hate perceptual error.

hate to lose my thread of daily dose gummies and chocolates.

hate crankiness.

hate hunger.

hate waking up early to do tutorial but not finishing it.

hate people coming up with excuse instead of just saying their true feelings.

hate it when your friends suddenly disappear.

hate being poor.

hate when salary is never coming.

hate it.

pity the boyfriend who has to endure my random moodswing and crankiness

happy birthday Dex! hate when i cant go out. (

IEF must soon be my favourite module. If what shu’s experiencing is an emotional rollercoster, then I must be in an emotional Viking. and honestly I don’t know when is it going to end. But oh well whatever, I’m back to BBC news now.

Random trivia : Onions have no flavour, only a smell

Happy birthday jiu!~

all the best for everyone in the concert! especially the one who might be playing the handmade guitar. you know i’ll be there for you as well! loves!

Other than that, school’s kinda suck badly at the first week. hate school! but love all the friends! ^^